The Gentle Hum of Anxiety
by brilliantmemories
Summary: One thing lead to another as Nathan Drake, Shaun Hastings and Desmond Miles trekked their way to the next Piece of Eden, where one of them reveals their true emotions and a side never seen before. Slash. Nate/Shaun & one sided!Desmond/Shaun, oneshot.


**A/N:** I'm not dead! I've been trying to work at No One Knows but I've completely forgotten where I'm going with it... And plus, my classes are keeping me plenty busy. So expect things to slowly trickle in, since this is the first thing I've written in a while.

Plus, I know this is new for you guys but I ship Nate/Shaun so hard, it's insane. They have such similar interests that it works so well. By the way, I think my friend Vaan and I were the first people to ship this pairing. It all happened on Tumblr, baby.

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Shaun outstretched his arm, his legs kicking wildly underneath him as he felt the physics of gravity begin to sink in.

With nothing but a deep, black chasm below him, Shaun was suspended in mid air and it felt like everything was going in slow motion. He had trusted the bloody twat to catch him but now, he wasn't so sure. He had leapt from a cliff, the reassuring shouts from Nathan Drake boosting his adrenaline. But he knew his physical strength was nowhere a match near Drake's, yet he had been stupid enough to attempt the jump. Now he was falling and he could feel his stomach plunge with despair. He was going to die here and now. In this stupid grey sweater that he didn't even like, a pair of jeans and hiking shoes. _Cute._

"Shaun!" Nate shouted, leaning over the rocky cliff before he grasped the historian's wrist, slipping slightly as he braced himself in the nick of time. Shaun felt his shoulder pop painfully and he wondered how Nate was hanging on. Kicking his shoes frantically against the cliff, he managed to drag himself up with the gracious help of the muscular treasure hunter. Gasping for breath, Shaun leaned into him without thinking twice, much to the younger man's surprise.

"Desmond's waiting for us, come on…" Nate whispered in his ear, squeezing him tightly for a moment before he started to get up, offering Shaun his hand.

"I didn't think you were going to save me." Shaun looked at him, his knees still wobbling.

"Nah… I wasn't gonna but then I decided Desmond might have been a little pissed…" He laughed quietly, reaching out to cup Shaun's cheek. Instantly, Shaun pulled away, grabbed Nate's wrist and pushed it down.

"What the bloody hell are you doing?" He snapped, his eyes averting his gaze as he looked over to Desmond, feeling his heart sink. Lucy was gone. Rebecca was too… Now they were the only two Assassins left – they were so close to a Piece of Eden, Shaun could almost taste it. But instead of going alone with a fucked out of his mind Desmond Miles, Shaun had invited Nathan Drake to come along and play. Surely, it would help. Only a month ago, Shaun had spilled everything to him, having known the man for almost a year. He felt like he could trust the thief, the irony of it all. It had only been a week ago that Shaun had told him they were leaving to find another Piece of Eden. But Nate hadn't been there when everything had gone to shit.

Shaun remembered Rebecca fighting for her life, taking out henchmen one by one before her scream was silenced with a single bullet. Lucy had gone down only moments later, pulling out a gun in pure red anger to shoot down the murderer of her best friend. Shaun recalled seeing the walls painted with her blood, but not exactly in the same kind of way Sixteen had done it. Without a moment to lose, Desmond had grabbed Shaun's hand and yanked them out, disappearing into a secret passage where he jumped into the sewers with Shaun. They had hid in the water, silent, pressed up against each other, only to hear the men search the area before disappearing. By then, time was of no use to them. They merely listened to each other's heart beats for God knows how long, before Desmond helped Shaun out of the water, both of them a mess of emotions. They had gotten their asses out of that so called Sanctuary and Shaun knew that he only had one last string left to cling onto.

In a matter of hours, they were at Nathan Drake's summer home and for some, extremely lucky reason, he was there too.

So here they were, running across a jagged and uneven rock ground, eyes set forth on the bridge they had to cross. At least one hadn't broken, so they wouldn't have to make another enormous jump. For Desmond and Nate, it was as easy as breathing – they had the muscle mass and strength to make that jump without falling. Shaun was a different story – even if he was an Assassin, he was a _weak_ Assassin nevertheless.

"I don't know. I just… you look distressed," Nate frowned as they caught up to Desmond, who was looking up at the bright blue sky, not a single cloud in sight as the sun began to set in the distance. It was nearing night.

"You alright, Shaun?" Desmond looked over to him, his eyes somewhat cloudy. Shaun bit his lip, walking a step closer to him as they all stood before the rickety bridge. Once again, the space below the overpass seemed like a void, nothing but solid black for miles 'til end.

"Yeah, of course. Why wouldn't I be?"

"Almost looked like you were gonna fall…" Desmond mumbled, turning away from the two men to start across the bridge, moving slowly.

"I was not."

"Looked like it."

"You must be blind."

"Eagle Vision is-"

"I caught him. No big deal." Nate cut in with a forced smile, moving closer to Shaun subtly.

"Too bad you did. Could have saved us a lot of pain," Desmond joked as he ran his fingers across the bridge's handle ropes, Shaun watching him before Nate nudged his back gently motioning him forward.

"Oi, shut it, Des." Shaun rolled his eyes and huffed, taking tentatively steps onto the old wooden boards. He could hear the thing groan under their weight and he decided to wait until Desmond reached the other end until he started to move. Without surprise, Nate was right behind him.

"I got your back, Shaun." Nate whispered, walking right behind him. Shaun could have sworn that the bridge would have broken under their weight, but it hadn't. And Nate had kept his word, he hadn't given the historian space until they were a good ten steps away from the bridge. Shaun had to remind him that they were now on solid ground.

"Over here!" Desmond shouted, coming to a small crevice in the middle of a bunch of jagged rocks, opening up a menacing looking hole in the ground. It would have been impossible to see to the naked eye, but Shaun knew for Desmond that it had a faint blue glow. They were getting closer and closer. "Just follow me." Desmond fell over the ledge, grabbing it before he easily began to scale along the rock wall, slowly making his way down. Shaun gulped, watching him. He couldn't do that. He didn't have anywhere _near _the upper arm strength for that kind of climbing.

"Here. Hop on my back and I'll carry you downwards." Nate grinned at Shaun, crouching down to let the man piggy back him.

"Can you do that?"

"Yeah, of course. The six pack isn't just for show, Shaun." He looked over his shoulder and grinned at the historian, earning a playful sigh and smile before Shaun jumped on. Wrapping his arms tightly around Nate's neck, Shaun's stomach flipped when he felt the man jump over the side. Shaun had to close to his eyes and bury his face into the crook of Nate's neck – he just couldn't look at the darkness below them. Desmond better have known where he was going. "Hang on there, Shaun. Gotta make a bigger jump." Shaun squeezed as tight as he could before he felt Nate move, almost jump horizontally, making everything scarier with his eyes closed.

"Hey… Shaun?" Nate murmured as he slowed down his movements, taking longer to reach where Desmond was.

"What now?" Shaun snapped, breathing heavily as he wrapped his legs tighter around Nate's waist, his heart pounding in his chest. And he wasn't even the one climbing. Nathan Drake was his Superman.

"Can I take you out to dinner after this is all done?"

"… _Excuse me?_" Had he heard the bloke correctly?

"You. Me… Dinner? Y'know, that thing after Lunch." Nate grinned, stopping completely, his muscles aching the slightest bit.

"Nate! Now is hardly the time for this…" Shaun growled, tugging back on his neck, trying to will the man to move.

"I just wanted to ask before that Desmond fella did. I know he likes you and I just don't want to lose you to him."

Shaun felt his heart skip a beat as they both hung still, neither saying another word. Was he blind? Of course Nathan Drake liked him. All the subtle hints, the touches, the invites to go out and the willingness to do this crazy thing with him… It all added up. A part of Shaun must have known all along. But wait… Did he say that Desmond liked him? Shaun thought about it, contemplating the idea of the Assassin having feelings for him. It was weird. He only viewed him as a friend, nothing more – somebody to talk to and support when the going got tough. And considering Desmond's shape, things were very rough. He was switching back and forth between personalities, his mind tearing in half most of the time. Desmond was unstable and he could start to go out of wack at any moment.

"Nate…" Shaun sighed, trying to hold back happiness that was making him grin ear to ear. "I'd like that. Yeah."

"Great!" Nate beamed happily, making his way across the wall with faster, more upbeat movements. Shaun hung onto him, gasping when he felt Nate make the largest jump and hang onto the edge of a smaller cliff. When they pulled up, Shaun remained on his back, looking over his shoulder to see Desmond standing near a cave entrance. He was shifting his weight foot to foot, looking antsy. When their eyes met, he saw something change in the man's posture. Slowly, Shaun slid off Nate's back, glad that his own feet were finally on the ground. He looked back to see the rock wall close to their little opening, seeing the direction that Nate had taken.

"You two ready?" Desmond asked blankly, his eyes still on Shaun as he walked over to Nate, attempting to hide his smile.

"Yeah." Nate grinned, taking Shaun's hand into his own. Desmond's eyes followed down to their entwined fingers and he grinded his teeth, turning around with a flashlight in hand. He headed into the dark cave, not waiting for either one of them. Shaun looked at Nate, frowning before he tugged him along. He squeezed Nate's hand, following the soft orange glow of Desmond's light.

Time was lost as the three walked in silence, jumping over small holes in the ground or maneuvering around breaks in the floor. Shaun could tell Desmond knew where he was going, by the way he didn't even look back and just simply followed something that Shaun or Nate couldn't see. After what felt like hours of climbing up walls, jumping from ledge to ledge, they didn't need Desmond's flashlight anymore. Something blue glowed in the distance, illuminating the dark cave.

"Desmond! I think that's it!" Shaun shouted, feeling a small spring in his step.

"Yeah, that's it." Desmond replied, his tone flat. Something felt off.

"Wait!" Nate shouted ahead to Desmond, who didn't bother to stop and only continued on, leaving the two in the dim light. "Does he know what he's dealing with…? Do you?" Nate looked at Shaun, smiling weakly at him.

"Yeah… I think we do. I mean… We have the Apple of Eden, Desmond's carrying it with him. We got it right after… y'know… Lucy and Rebecca were…" Shaun trailed off, tearing his gaze away from Nate's.

Nate sighed, reaching out to cup Shaun's face. "I know…" He smiled at him, seeing Shaun's sad eyes behind his blue tinted glasses. "I'm here for you now, Shaun…" Without any kind of warning, Shaun felt Nate's lips press tenderly against his own, sending the historian's stomach into various flips and somersaults, his knees nearly giving out beneath him. It felt like a dream, a scene out of a romance movie – something that wasn't real. But it was. He was here with Nate, kissing him, he himself was slowly reaching out to hold the younger man's face in his own hands. With a smile, Shaun grazed his fingers over Nate's stubble, earning a small chuckle from him when he pulled away, licking his lips.

"You just… kissed me…" Shaun laughed breathlessly, unable to wrap his mind around me. "It felt so… dream like. I'm not dreaming, am I? This isn't like Inception or some shite, is it?" Looking at Nate with wild eyes, he felt his heart pounding in his chest, almost breaking through his ribs and flying out onto the floor at Nathan's feet.

"No, it isn't. Let me remind you how real this is." He grinned, grabbing Shaun by the waist before he kissed him hard on the lips, proving to him that this wasn't a figment of his imagination. Without any sort of hesitation, Shaun threw his arms around Nate's neck and pulled himself closer, moaning quietly. It was as if a wall had been smashed open, the desire streaming through with an uncontrollable force. Shaun hadn't realized how bad he had wanted it, how much his body yearned for Nate's rough fingers to explore him like the way he explored his exotic lands – but with him, perhaps it would be even deeper and more extensive.

"Could you two stop?" Desmond snapped, jumping in between them, shoving Shaun back roughly.

"What the bloody hell, Desmond?" Shaun growled, his fists clenching slightly. "What is wrong with you?" He could still taste Nate on his lips.

"I can't stand on the fucking sidelines and watch you get together with this moron!" Desmond shouted, glaring at Nate, his back turned to Shaun. The historian felt a flip in his stomach when he analyzed his words quickly in his mind. Nate had been right, so completely right.

"He's not a bloody moron! If anyone's a tosser, it's you, Desmond! Why do you think I invited him along?" That wasn't true. He had just been a friend. Or so, Shaun had thought that. Perhaps subconsciously, there was more to their relationship than he thought.

"Shit man, I've known Shaun longer than you! Don't get your panties in a twist." Nate put his hands up in mock defense, shaking his head.

"Look, Desmond – you just need to get over it, love… You're just a mate, a friend. Nate… Our interests are so… similar." Smiling to himself, Shaun took a step forward, putting a hand on Desmond's shoulder reluctantly. Before he could do anything else, Desmond pushed him away quickly, his nostrils flaring.

"Just a friend? That's all I'll ever be?" Desmond took a deep, heavy breath as he turned to look at Nate, advancing on him slowly. "Because of this 'witty' and 'humorous' guy? There's nothing special about him. Big deal. What's he got that I don't?"

"Desmond, don't talk like that-"

"What's he have that I don't?" Desmond shouted loudly, his eyes hard as he grinded his teeth, trying to fight off the frustration and aggravation that began to devour him.

"He…"

"I can keep Shaun safe. I'm not being chased by evil corporate leaders, forcing me to hide in old abandoned buildings for weeks or months. I have a home. A place Shaun can frequent _without_ the fear of waking up to a gun hovering above him. I can get him whatever he wants, nick it from a museum and put it on display for him. I could give Shaun the fucking world while all you can do is lead him on this merry chase, his life always at stake. I have safety, something you'll never be able to give him." Shaun had moved to the side, getting a glimpse of Desmond's grim expression. Something about it wasn't right. Something told Shaun that everything Nate had just said, set something off inside the Assassin.

But before he could say anything to comfort him, Desmond closed the distance between him and Nathan in the blink of an eye. It didn't make sense. What was he doing? It wasn't until Shaun moved closer and saw Nate's pained expression that the gears began to turn inside his head. His eyes glanced down and he saw Desmond's hand pressed against Nate's stomach and he knew, dreadfully knew, what had just happened.

"_DESMOND!_" Shaun's voice tore through the gathered silence and his hand reached out to rip Desmond's hidden blade away. The blood splattered on the floor between the two men and instantly, Nate crumpled down to the ground, groaning in pain. Shaun grabbed Desmond by the front of his hoodie and shook him violently. "Why the fuck would you do that? What is _wrong with you_, Desmond?" It took everything he had not to send Desmond hurling over the cliff that was a mere five feet away from them. He wanted him dead. He wanted Desmond to disappear.

More than anything, Shaun wanted to take time back.

"I did it for us!" Desmond shouted back, grabbing Shaun's wrists, turning the tables as he took control of the situation. "We couldn't have him dragging behind us, complicating _our_ search for the Pieces of Eden!" Shaun tried to pull away, but he couldn't. He felt Desmond's steel grip tightening and he didn't think the man would stop until he broke the historian's bones.

"Are you mental? Desmond! Let me go!" Shaun struggled, but it was to no avail. Desmond slowly let go of him, only to cup his cheeks roughly and kiss him violently on the lips. Instantly, Shaun jerked away, smashing his right fist into Desmond's nose before he turned away and ran to Nate's body.

"Nate… Nate… Please tell me that you're still here…" Shaun fell to his knees, his eyes scanning over the wound in his stomach. It was deep and the blood was flowing freely with no signs of slowing down. He looked to Nate's face, noting that his eyes were closed and that he seemed still. Too still.

"Nate, please… I can't do this alone… Not without you, love…" Hesitantly, Shaun shook his shoulder lightly, trying to rouse the man from his supposedly deep slumber. "Nate… We were supposed to have dinner, remember? God damn it, Nate. Wake up, you twat…" He could hear Desmond grumbling in the distance but nothing seemed to matter anymore.

"I beg of you, Nate… Christ, you know I don't beg for anything… How could this be over to quickly? It just bloody well started…" Shaun hadn't realized that tears were streaming down his face until he saw small droplets form on Nate's bloodied shirt. With shaking hands, he took his glasses off and set them aside to wipe at his eyes. He couldn't remember the last time he had cried. For years, he had been at an emotional standstill, not willing to share any personal feelings. But here he sat, everything coming at once. Everything he had bottled up was breaking through.

"I did it to protect you…" Desmond's voice came from behind him and shivers ran down his spine. Desmond was a killer, a cold blooded murderer. This wasn't the way of the Assassins, not even remotely close. When Shaun didn't answer, Desmond sighed heavily and looked off in the distance, not affected at all by the life he had just taken. Shaun had taken Nate's hand in his own and it was still warm. How could something that was full of life be dead? "Shaun, please… Answer me…" But still, he didn't get a reply. The man's head was bent down, his glasses on the dirty rock floor. All Desmond could do was stand in silence and play the waiting game.

"I have never felt such hatred before. Not for the Templars, not for the men who raped and murdered women and were never caught and put in jail, not for the people who are slowly destroying our beautiful world... I hate the men who killed Lucy and Rebecca, but you… This can't even compare. I trusted you." Gradually, Shaun scooped up his glasses and turned around, his posture frigid and his eyes were as cold as ice. "I have never wanted to kill someone so badly in my life before. No one has been worthy of feeling such emotions from me. But Desmond, congratulations – you've done it. You've fucking done it! You'll never have my trust again! You'll never have my help, my confidence, or anything from me! I will never kiss you, wish you a goodnight or a hello! Because after this, I am through with you. I never want to see your smug and deceitful face _again!_"

Desmond stumbled back slightly, cringing as Shaun's words did more damage than any blade or bullet could do.

"Shaun…" Desmond laughed nervously, taking a step forward to grab his hand, but the historian pulled back quickly. "Don't act like this. After we're done this journey, we can start a new life together. We can-"

"What part of 'I never want to see you again' do you not understand?" Shaun yelled at the top of his lungs, his cruel words echoing through the massive cave. Their success was only a minute away and here they were, destroying everything they had. Desmond felt his next sentence get stuck in his throat, making his stomach nauseous.

"Shaun… You can't honestly just throw me out like that. I'm not _garbage_."

"Yes, yes you fucking are!" Shaun turned his back on him, his eyes falling to stare at Nate's peaceful state. Why…? As he felt his thoughts jumble together, something sharp and painful broke through them. His breath instantly got caught in his throat and he gasped, feeling Desmond's cold hand on his hip and something burning through his back. Tilting his head back slightly, lips trembling, Shaun closed his eyes as the agony tore through his body and the reality of it all sunk in.

"If you can't live without the prick… Why don't you join him?" Desmond snarled in his ear, shoving his hidden blade harder into his tender flesh. Distressed whimpers escaped Shaun's lips, his whole structure going weak as he began to give in to the pain that began to take over. He couldn't fight it anymore. What sense was there? He wouldn't make it out with a fatal wound. There was nothing left for him. Desmond shoved him down to the ground, where he fell a few feet away from Nate's body. Shaun rolled weakly onto his back, almost screaming from the pain before he rolled onto his side, trying to shuffle his way closer to Nate.

"Pathetic. You had everything with me but you just_ threw it away_." Desmond walked past him, heading for the Piece of Eden that would continue his journey – and his journey alone. Shaun watched him go as he feebly pressed himself against Nate, trying not to cry any harder than he already was.

"I'm scared, Nate…" Shaun whispered as his vision began to blur and his ears rang. What had it been like for him? He hadn't heard any last words – any final regrets or anything. Shaun had always wondered how he was going to go out – but he never saw it this way. But being forced into the situation, Shaun chose his final words carefully as he studied Nate's face for the last time as his sight slowly faded out to black.

"You were always my hero, Nate… I-…"


End file.
